“Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else, but just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”—The Winter of the Air (via kayleyhyde)
Neville as eventual headmaster is very important to me though.
Neville, who thanks to his enduring friendship with Luna sees the vital importance of fostering interhouse relationships, downplays the rivalries between the houses without lessening the importance of …
right now, I miss talking to someone. like real, straight-up talking about life, about philosophy, about change, about everything and nothing.
I’m missing some stimuli, I want to be challenged.
To have a proper discussion, to argue, even.
I can find some of this on reddit but it’s not the same as talking with a friend. Someone whose opinions I value.
Problem is, don’t know how to find these people. While I love and like the people I currently know, I feel a bit bored. A bit unchallenged, as I said.
I’m excited for changes next year. And I’m glad I’m learning to do difficult things, to take risks and do so,etching despite fear of failure.
It may be a byproduct of the stupid thing I did last year, which I often regret but am still glad I did. I dunno, it’s weird.
It seems, it really is about being still vs being in motion. While travelling, I didn’t have time to question many things but being back at home, back to routine- something is lacking. And that makes me wonder if I’ll always feel like that unless I’m moving. Kinda makes sense why some people run away from “reality”.